A conversation off seallyme.blogspot.com
Morning to all teachers, good morning GEntlemen.
This morning, I saw a conversation that was gotten off a certain prefect. Yes, prefects are my source of information. They are my eyes, my ears and my wang.
Let's listen to this. I have posted my (MY) comments in between with BONG, these are not part of the original conversation. Let's move on.
PROF: So you believe in God?
STUDENT : Absolutely, sir.
PROF: Is God good?
STUDENT : Sure.
PROF: Is God all-powerful?
STUDENT : Yes.
BONG: blah, blah, blah
PROF: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal
him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God
didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
PROF: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is
God good?
STUDENT : Yes.
PROF : Is Satan good?
STUDENT : No.
PROF : Where does Satan come from?
STUDENT : From...God...
PROF : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in
this world?
STUDENT : Yes.
BONG: Sure is.
PROF : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything.
Correct?
STUDENT : Yes.
PROF : So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
PROF : Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these
terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
STUDENT : Yes, sir.
PROF: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
PROF: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe
the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
STUDENT : No, sir.
PROF: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
STUDENT : No, sir.
PROF: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God?
Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
STUDENT : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
PROF:
Yet you still believe in Him?
STUDENT : Yes.
PROF: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol,
science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
STUDENT : Nothing. I only have my faith.
PROF: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
STUDENT : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
PROF: Yes.
STUDENT : And is there such a thing as cold?
PROF: Yes.
STUDENT : No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
STUDENT : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat,
mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have
anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no
heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing
as cold. Cold is only a word we use to
describe the absence of heat.
We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of
heat, sir, just the absence of it.
BONG: Sure, you young punk. I'll put you in the Subarctic, and I'll let you call that Heat.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
STUDENT : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
darkness?
PROF : Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
STUDENT : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of
something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light,
flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have
nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness
isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't
you?
BONG: I missed something there. I'll put you in a small lift with cockroaches and spiders with no light. Is that darkness?
PROF: So what is the point you are making, young man?
STUDENT : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
PROF: Flawed? Can you explain how?
STUDENT : Sir, you
are working on the premise of duality. You argue
there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You
are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can
measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses
electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully
understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be
ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved
from a monkey?
PROF: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes,
of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize
where the argument is going.)
BONG: I shake my own head with curiosity.
STUDENT : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at
work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor,
are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a
preacher? (The class is in uproar.)
My dear emo kid, if you bother to read any proper science material you will know that this evolutionary process did take place. Charles Darwin is turning in his grave.
STUDENT : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the
Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
STUDENT : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's
brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable,
demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.
BONG: Is there anyone here who has seen your wang? Is there anyone who has felt it, touched it, heard it or smelt it? Or tasted it?
No one has done so. According to your mehpukk demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no rod, my young student.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
unfathomable.)
BONG: If you don't trust his lectures then go out and be an indepedent, self-serving freelance photographer you young bugger.
PROF: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
STUDENT : That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That
is all that keeps things moving & alive
BONG: I thought respiration kept things moving and alive. So corpses have no faith? And rocks have no faith?
Oh wait, I'm contradicting yourself.
I'd love to hear from you. I value your input.
The Opener
Good morning teachers, Good morning Gentlemen.
*waits for the grand acknowledgement*
thinks: LOL BOW to me you unworthy minions.
Today, I renewed the contract with the Fhristalite Methodist Home that specifies that we have to send a class down there at least once every week. Mr Lim of the Home tells me that the members of the Home have taken to donning ACS attire in respect of their kind helpers. Well done school.
I would also like to commend Evin Wong and Haun Lee for their magnaminous and selfless efforts in undeceitfully returning this laptop to its "rightful" owner.
Speaking of which, I would like to ask the person who lost his tablet PC to give a big shout.
"Someone from 1.6 or 1.7 shouts out Dr BONG WO YONG YUAN HUI ZHI CHI NI"
I would now like everyone standing within 2 metres of him to give him a tight slap at anywhere you please.
"Someone from 1.6 or 1.7 screams out in pain"
Thank you. Let's now give a round of applause to the National Poliz Caddy Cadet Company Corps (Space) for a uninspiring and generally depressing flag-raising involving the flag being ripped into half.
*Catcalls and applause from the audience. I am great, I am worthy of their applause. 2000+ people look to me as their leader, I have responsibiities.*
At this point, the usurper, Bongar, comes forth with some of his boring messages about latecoming and littering the basketball courts and whatnot.
Some day, I believe he will take a very sharp cleaver and behead me in my office. I shall have to remove him the way I removed SeaKeng. I shall ring up my dear friend Bosef Stalin in north-western Azerbaijan and ask him to arrange a "disciplinary" post for Bongard. He can be the flogging boy in the Hagir Prison.
On another note, I shall have to apologize to my dear Fann for betraying her all these years. I have put my personal feelings ahead of my professional conduct in promoting Yvonna. Soon, I shall give her a post in the Woodlands Correctional Facility, and then I can be reunited with my three wives. It is a good thing I chose to be Windu. This religion allows me to have more than one wife, up to five wives.
The Windu religion was said to be formed by an ancient warrior by the name of Mace.
That is all for today. You may return to your cramped and stuffy classes.
Let Project Poison proceed as planned. Soon, complete dominance of secondary school education will be ours.
